Up-Regulating/Down-Regulating

Emotional regulation is something many struggle with, those with trauma histories even more so. When we talk about emotional regulation we are talking about how a person manages their emotions relative to their Window of Tolerance. Window of Tolerance is that emotional place where we feel good (also called "optimal arousal zone) and are able to cope with what comes at us. Things are either going well, or if they aren't the stressors are not pushing us beyond what we can manage. The Window of Tolerance is in between to emotional states that are not so optimal: hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal. Hyper-arousal is when we feel agitated, angry, anxious, our emotions are elevated. It's part of our fight/flight response. In Hypo-arousal on the other hand, we are in a state of numbness, we find ourselves fatigued, passive, disconnected from what's happening (depersonalization). These reactions constitute the freeze response.

If our clients find themselves in those two non-optimal ends of the emotional spectrum we can try to help them 'up-regulate' (try to bring ourselves up and out of the hypo-aroused state into the optimum window of tolerance area). Likewise we can help them 'down-regulate' if they are angry from hyper-arousal back to that sweet spot that is the window of tolerance.

There are numerous ways we can do this. If we need to help them up-regulate from a position of hypo-arousal (imagine you're on auto-pilot, mindlessly scrolling through your phone binge-watching season after season of a show on Netflix, bored and inattentive), we can try a breathing technique called the breath of fire where we breathing rapidly through our nose while pushing all the air out of our lungs. This increases energy in the body. We can also ask them to try putting on some up-beat music and dancing, going for a walk (or run if you are more athletically inclined), getting out in the yard and mowing or doing some gardening, setting a timer and doing 30 minutes of house chores, calling a friend for dinner to increase social connection and feelings of community. All of these are ways we can up-regulate ourselves.

Similarly, if we need to help our clients out of anger we can try to 'down-regulate' their emotions through mindfulness meditation, a different kind of breathing technique called "relaxing breath" where they breath in for 4, hold for 7, then exhale for 8. The purpose of this kind of breathing is so that the exhale is longer than the inhale which allows the parasympathetic nervous system to slow the heart rate and calm the body.

Grounding techniques work well for down-regulation as well. A five senses approach works well where you find things in our immediate area that you can see, touch, smell, taste and feel. Or, counting the number of items you see that are a certain color. These grounding techniques bring you back to the present moment. Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that works well to calm a body and brain from a hyper-aroused state. You are guided to move through the body tensing and relaxing muscle groups as you inhale and exhale in coordination with the muscle tension. Certainly exercise can burn off the extra energy our clients may have when in a hyper-aroused state. It can act like a pressure release valve.

I have used these techniques quite a bit in my practice with clients. They are so simple and yet so effective. Sometimes the simplest thing really is the answer.